Joburg I don’t need to TRY to love you because you are loved

Johannesburg a somewhat confused emerging city, filled with a muted vibrancy of its own kind that makes it so difficult NOT to love. Sure it has its moments of rat race tension that any city would face, but at its core it’s a laid back and sleepy. When compared to a city like Bangkok; we are the little league of cities, the diet coke of cities, the regular Mc D’s Happy Meal of cites, but will not be for long. Progress is relentless and so if you find yourself saying Joburg I’m trying so hard to love you, followed by a splutter of beatnik hippy rant, in the form of free flow spoken word perhaps its time, to revaluate the person you are:

(Disclaimer – this is no way a commentary on the Guy with Camera, but rather on the mindset itself)

1. Shave your Goatee – You look like a Capetownian Child Molester.

2. Change your attire – You’re not cool enough to wear anything ironically leave Baggy sleeveless Lady Gaga shirts to the delusional hipster kids, with their skinny pipe stove corduroy and large non prescription black frame glasses.

3. Change your attitude – Nobody has the right to live as a sarcastic caricature of themselves.

4. Embrace a bustling economy and commercialism – Because although the best things in life aren’t things, things are still pretty fucking cool.

5. Stop whining – because you sound like a C*nt! Maybe move to a really busy city or a war zone to gain some perspective on how great we have it here in dear old JHB.

This is your mission, should you choose to accept it, and should you not… Start a blog to bitch about my post.

Joburg I don’t need to try to love you because you are loved. Your summer mid afternoon showers, that clear the air as it rises from sweltering tarmac. Your wide open spaces and untouched land that you seldom see in other cities. You first world malls in a third world country. Your productivity to build a better Joburg.

I would be complaining about your traffic but having seen what Bangkok is like with its bumper to bumper traffic everyday of the week throughout the night and morning, I am thankful for our smooth running roadways. Your summer concerts and winter breeze. Your Art on Main to your Shebeen parties to your backyard braais. Your beautiful woman (never dressed in hardy) and your gees filled rugby. Your racism free, free think youth built on the foundation of your stupid mistakes. Your wildlife and you wilder life. Your freedom to choose the life you live, whether it be Ed Hardy Bedecked douche bag, Markham white collared working stiff, artist or hipster, rugby loving boerewors fed Afrikaner or black diamond in the rough, Amakhosi for life or up the bucs – you choose to live the life you choose, in one of the best setting in the world – Joburg I don’t need to try to love you because you are loved